Monday, 18 February 2013

The Sleeping Times @IIMA

Disclaimer - This blog is totally fictional, based on true rumors...if anyone finds across resemblance to any personality, event or data, no need to shout from the roof tops, it maybe just a co-incidence !

I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake.  ~Author Unknown

Revealing Personality Traits ?

They say that sleep tells you a great deal about a person (its best to credit some stuff to “they” when one doesn't have a clue as to who the h%$# said it). Let us look at this from the perspective of a classical 2x2 matrix *

       GHISUGIRI ( defined as the art of slogging your butt out)

Liar, Liar
Boss, you are plain lazy
Nerd- Get a Life  !!
Confused in Life
Note : The above results are  statistically insignificant at 95% confidence interval. The balance 5% is for exceptions.

*2x2 matrix is one of the useful inventions of modern management and used to explain everything from making chappatis, to finding God. It is generally used by those who hate talking and like to keep things short or alternatively, don’t have much to say.
Let us explore each of these categories

Liar, Liar –  Devilishly competitive, these guys love to announce to the world that they care two hoots about studies and that they are either sleeping or freaking out, hoping to create awe and envy in others. What these guys# will never tell you is what they do behind closed doors  or when they are in their toilets, and I term them “ closeted Ghisus”. Ape this breed at your own risk.

Lazy – Now this category love to seen as  the chilled out group, but methinks that they are plain LAZY. By coming to IIMA, these guys have arrived in life and now they wait for the world to queue up for their genius. These guys honor the professors by attending their classes and their syndi mates by allowing them to include their names in the group assignments.

Nerd – This guy is  trapped in a triangle, unfortunately not a love triangle but a less complicated one as his/her life revolves around his syndi room, classroom and dorm room. I call these guys “The Invisibles” and are normally greeted by their classmates by the incredulous expression “ hey, are we in the same class ?”, no pun intended.

Confused  – These guys lose sleep, deciding whom to follow - the Liars, the Lazys or the Nerds. So these guys joined IIMA to give some meaning to their life and are still searching for it. God bless their souls !

Always read the footnotes first, they say…

# Guys imply boys, girls, men and women, so no group should feel marginalized.

Sleep patterns as  indicators ?

Can  one look at sleep patterns and determine at what stage a person is, in his/her PGPX life ? Empirical studies done after pain staking & back breaking research, show  that this is now possible, as illustrated graphically as follows

Pre PGPX – Well, this the last period that one sleeps peacefully for 8 hours, because once you enter PGPX, to quote a local term “dimaag ka dahi ho jaata hai” – loosely translated “ brains turn into curd “.

Term I – This is when the pressure start building up and one starts reducing the sleep cycle thinking how to maximize  the return on Rs  21+ lacs that one has paid for the course fees and so pores into books and more books. Here the students are influenced by the belief that more hours of study = better grades, “so what if there is GND …We will compete and show we are THE BEST “… This is the period of “Vaat Laga,” translated into “ Got S*&%8”. Well experienced executives study in 1 week, what they would have studied in two years.

Term II – This is when the “S*&^ hits the fan, or 10X Vaat Laga”, as the studyload is doubled and the time halved. The guys, fresh with the learnings of segmentation, Hathi, Cheetah breakup their sleep into small pieces, as they plan for survival. Strangely, but the guys who were looking for returns on their fees, don’t look too happy with the increased study material. This is also the period when cruel realization hits that hrs of study not necessarily equals better grades. Thank God for GND... !!

Term III – This is the “vacation period” where guys make up for 4 months of lack of sleep

Term IV – One doesn’t know when one has to be awake, when one has to sleep. Everyone from the administrators to the students are  “dauda dauda bhaaga bhaaga sa” translated into “run, run, run run” as one moves from one elective course to another.

Term V – There are two types of people. Employed, who sleep without a worry in the world and the unemployed who carry all the worries of the world and some more!

“Class”ic  sleeping types

 Do this exercise in class when the next time you do have not done your pre read or your assignment and are generally “ what the h*** is going on ??” . Study your classmates  and observe which category they fall belong to

The objective of this article was to render a service by either entertaining the reader or put him/her to sleep.  I hope that I have been able to achieve my objective once the reader is  finished with this article. If not, then there is a basic problem of understanding and the reader  should read this article again, and again… Till such time, I am gonna go and catch a few winks.

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